Back Rubs

So, I have an extremely fucked up back. And my wonderful roommate minibot_loveminibot_love helps me out with it by giving me back rubs. It's painful, but it always feels better at the end. So today, when she torqued her shoulder and got a bit of a knot in it, I thought I'd return the favor. The only thing is I like pain, and she doesn't, so we had some trouble communicating about what was going on. I could feel the very center of the knot, but the parts where the pain was referred weren't fucked up enough to be palpably different, so I had to rely on her to tell me where it was I should rub.

Me: "How does that feel?"

Min: "Like burning!"

Me: "...oh. Is that what it felt like when I was rubbing the back of your shoulder?"

Min: "Yes! What's it supposed to feel like?"

Me: "Painful, but like a release. You know that good feeling when you stretch out a sore muscle, and it hurts, but you can feel it getting better?"

Min: "No."

Me: "Oh."

Min: "What does it feel like to you?"

Me: "Um. Kind of like an orgasm. Anyway, is this where you're feeling it?"

Min: "Agh! Yes! How do you like this??"

Me: "Because to me, it doesn't feel like burning."

Min: "It's like you have a lighter, and you've been pressing it into my back the whole time." ono

Me: "It's like psychotherapy. You have to dig down into the most fucked up part, and touch it."

Anyway, she was a real trooper considering how unpleasant it was for her. And she said it's a little better now. We're alternating heat and cold on it and dosing her with ibuprofen, so hopefully it'll sort itself out by tomorrow.

The whole thing just kind of underlined for me how different everyone's experience is. The exact same stimulation can be awesome or intolerable, depending on what kind of equipment you have to process it. So weird.

Also, it's really hard to talk about massage without making it sound dirty. Especially if you're trying to be reassuring.